thoughtful thursday

for more time than i care to consider i have been aware that, with friends, i initiate contact more often than they do. while i don't make new year's resolutions, this year i determined i would expect reciprocity in relationships. what does that mean, reciprocity? it means that i wanted people to initiate contact as much as i did; to reach out to me the way i reached out to them. 

through the year i have initiated contact with others be it email, phone calls, texting, letters or actually getting together. after doing so for a few times i then waited for the gestures to be returned. the results after most of the year passing? many people i haven't heard a peep from. one person called me after a few months and barked, "i haven't heard from you!" my reply of, "and i haven't heard from you!" was met with silence. if people reached out, i responded, however, the length between connections has grown greater and greater. i have been in the company of some i have waited a response from but it was because someone else did the inviting. 

it is doubtful that any of the persons involved mean any harm, no malice intended. it's also doubtful that many are aware of their lack of action. even so, there is then no relationship because it takes everyone involved for a relationship to happen. if people do not wish a real friendship i'm ok with that and i wish them well. my focus, my energy will be given to those who are as invested in me as i am in them.